I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
