But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
