I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
