Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize