I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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