I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
