Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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