No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
