all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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