so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
