great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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