I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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