I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
