p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
