Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
