The maid of honor just puked.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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