Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
