You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
