yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
