So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
