my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
