dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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