I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
