I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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