Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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