Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
