I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize