Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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