It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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