Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
