don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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