therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
