Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
