All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
