no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
