you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
