I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize