my mouth tastes like poor choices
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
