6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize