once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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