Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
