he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
