It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
