it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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