Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just found puke in my bra..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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