Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
