After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
