did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
