Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
