Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
