I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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