and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
These tits shall not be calmed
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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