he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
