Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
