If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
