but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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