cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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