we have officially lost it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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