Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
