God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
