Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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