Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
