I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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