is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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