i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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