is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
