Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
