Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
