Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
