You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize