we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
