you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's get the cat blown out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
