Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
