loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
