Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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