i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
