Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
