I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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