you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize